BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD.
i feel like a mess. i am a mess. i have a mess surrouding me as well. my house is freakin gross and dirty and filthy im living in a dumpster of hell.
for the past 2 days, ive managed to stay in the library to study till 3am. as great as this revelation may sound, what is actually revealed is this equality of greatness is the ability to sleep in library and i can even snooze on for an hour plus. or, i end up playing spider solitare on the laptop and listen to songs which dampen to mood greatly, making it not suitable for studying and of which, i proceed blatantly to writing reminiscent-filled lines, minus the pleasure.
the last lap of my trinity education starts next week but the race seems to be never ending or is it because it has barely yet to have even started?
but amidst this all, is the fear rooted deep within- the fear of not fearing.
i pray its not gonna be yet another fucked up situation.
anyways, drama performace on wednesday went on perfectly. i even managed to bring imran to tears! im sure going to miss the group a whole lot. despite the bossiness entrenched in me, and the piss-offs causing me to walk off yet coming back with the excuse of the toilet. and the manymany attempts of unsuccessful meetings and of course the thousands of spartic pictures. but yes, at the end of the day, it all seems worthwhile. proud of everyone, and with myself even more. the sense of accomplishment is overwhelming.
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You came and went, as I ran.
Running… running through it all.
Attempts for failure accumulated by and by
Nevertheless I came in first, to reach the lie.
He said I don’t wear his chains.
I said it was all stuck and craved in my memory lane.
He said I never understood.
I said that our history was just misunderstood.
He said he was tired of it all and wanted closure.
I told him man in all things was just in fact, a measure.
So there, he stood.
And here, I stand
He sees me through a blink of an eye and so I shade.
I see him in the mind endlessly and he never fails to fade.
His forthcoming insincere apologies were said with no shame.
My undying limitless pleas for hope, were dashed with disdain
He stayed behind.
I embarked on an endless journey.
Its easy predicament
I continued climbing up the inverted ladder
The pain and past still lingers.
The thoughts and tears still loiter.
:: WORDS ESCAPED ME AT ::
-3:52 AM-