the week of torture is finally over.
hello my name is shanti. and my christian name is vanessa, which i find totally irrelevant because nobody calls me that. i dont know why i have that name too when neither do i go to church nor pray(unless im in a fix, and that would make me a bad egg because that would mean im using God). i do not want to touch on my likes and hates because i do not like alot of things and so this would be never ending. i do not like having fears and i know that was a stupid statement. most of my fears are pyschological. for example, i think someone's after me. and im afraid to sleep when it is dark cause i think someone's out to get me. therefore, i have to look under my bed and on my roof every damn night to reassure myself. also, that voice/noise in my head scares me. it does not want to get out and insecurities can kill. im also afraid of jellyfish beacuse i was right next to one before and it scared the shit outta me, and so i screamed. i dont like to scream and neither do i like people who scream. however, this was an exception. im turning 16 exactly 2 weeks from now, which means in 336 hours time, and that is cool. but you see, i have a habit of looking forward to and event and when it finally comes, i hate it. i try not to curse but sometimes, its the best way of expressing myself. anyway, this was done at random and im feeling tired now so off i am to get my sleeeeeeeeeeep.
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to wei rong: stupid means lacking intelligence. and yes, im referring to you.
and cynical means believing that people are only interested in themselves and are not sincere or it describes a tendency to use someone's feelings or emotions to your own advantage. and yes, you can refer it to me.
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-10:23 PM-